Clingy and Emotionally Dependent partner. Codependent relationships can be between friends, romantic partners, or family members. And if you are having a good relationship no one in that relationship would get stressed. She is obviously not happy about this, but I have assured her that I will do everything I can to still spend a lot of time with her. On the weekends we are together almost all the time. This is why you see guys who are gearheads flaunting their Maseratis, and why you will see guys who are really into a girl show her off to friends and family. Neediness -- emotional dependency -- comes from a deep fear of rejection, stemming from inner abandonment. But as this didn’t take place, and they haven’t worked through the trauma within them, they feel like a dependent child. Here are a few ways in which you can understand if someone you love is emotionally dependent on you. Emotional dependency is not a good thing. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I don’t get annoyed but this. Me 22, her 23. My girlfriend is somewhat similar, but I've noticed that her behavior is entirely different when she is staying at my house. If someone you love is always trying to please you as they are too afraid to lose your approval, it will … 1. Codependent couples are reactive because they each lack autonomy and are emotionally dependent upon each other. Tweet: Every month or so I do a free webinar. Love is easily confused with emotional dependency because they both usually come with intense feelings around another person. I called her to tell her what happened to my mom yet she was just disappointed and sad that I wouldn’t leave the house to see her since “every couple should spend New Years together”. My girlfriend was really upset that I stayed home instead of hanging out with her that day. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their inherent wholeness, they may need to reach out for external support. This has happened before, where I bring up something minor and she takes it to the extreme. The part of you that is "in love" is really a child or adolescent who is needy for love because you are not giving love to yourself or to others. I'd offer to do it with her, but that sort of defeats the purpose. This is kind of scary. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Do you think that might help? So even without the fact that she wanted to possible contract Covid, that’s a good reason to post here! Since this is a little bigger than "minor," I could see this not going over very well. Tactic Number One - "Be Rare". Obviously I can't be with her 24/7, so I don't really know what to do or how to handle this situation. Even the most secure people feel jealousy from time to time. The trio is seen posing for the camera in the tri-colour sequence. You've only been dating 4 months so I'm assuming you're smitten with her pert little butt and adorable laugh but seriously, that does not constitute an equitable or ultimately satisfying partnership. I have to be there earlier in the morning than at my old job, so I'm probably not going to be able to spend the night with her as much as I used to. Everything you described fits my girlfriend almost to a T. Soo...how do I go about bringing this up with her and preventing all the stuff you just described from happening? If you're unsure if your relationship is headed in a healthy direction or not, here are some signs to watch to see if you're in an emotionally dependent relationship. Only choose positive memories with nice emotional feelings attached. As title states, I have two people in my life who depend on me for emotional support. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Me and my best friend have been friends since we were six, for that reason we have a really close friendship, but that seems to trigger his girlfriends, even though there was never something romantically going on between us! The image has been captioned as, "Emotionally dependent on Independence Day." I have to text her all day and respond quickly or she's upset. Do it in a kind, non accusatory manner, but do it now before it gets engrained. Close • Posted by 1 hour ago. Or the insecurity/dependence issues will grow and you'll be dealing with some serious ass jealousy/control problems. On top of that, I just started a new job. If you’ve talked about this before and nothing has changed, it sounds like moving on is the right thing. If your girlfriend has no interests outside of you, is passionless about everything outside of her relationship with you and has no concept of independence...what exactly do you like about her? He has a girlfriend, but now the girlfriend and my sister are enemies. Needy people often come to the point of becoming toxic manipulators. Plus she lives in the city, so there is more to do in her area than there is mine. I am an expert at handling situations like this, having studied neurosciences, psychology, philosophy etc. Need help with your relationship? I feel like she just isn’t considerate enough. You had your habits of possibly being emotionally dependent, had a shared past and even a certain routine that settled into place and it all ended when your relationship was smashed to bits. Anytime I've been with someone this dependent, it was always followed by some strong theatrics, and borderline/histrionic behaviour. Thanks for the advice. I just don’t know if this can work out if I’m constantly having her get upset with me saying that “I don’t put enough effort” into the relationship. Could she be feeling stressed out by the belief that you might not really like her "in that way" and just be kind of "dating a friend" until you meet someone you're more attracted to? We got into an argument because my mom recently tested positive for COVID so I myself knowing that I’ve been around my mom decided to self quarantine in my room on New Years Eve. More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. We’ve talked about all of this before but not much has changed. We spend a lot of time together. If not, that’s a red flag. Take a class, join a club, go to the gym with friends every week. She gets jealous of my friends when I hang out with them, and basically any time we are not together I am constantly being flooded by "I miss you" texts. During the week I spend the night at her place quite often. Need help with your relationship? What other sorts of gestures could I do to let her know that I am committed to her? Press J to jump to the feed. Show her that you do want to be around her because she's attractive to you, not just because you enjoy hanging out with her (which presumably you enjoyed before you were dating). In my counseling practice, I often see couples where one partner is emotionally dependent and the other partner is emotionally distant. Emotional dependence. Awareness. She needs to retain her identity for 1. It indicates she’s not able or willing to form close relationships. This relationship sounds emotionally exhausting. I have a feeling if I say something about it she will shut down and be like "fine, whatever, I won't ever call or text" and then get really distant until I can convince her that I do in fact really love her. The reason I say I think she depends on me too much is because she gets really upset every time I leave, and any time we spend more than 24 hours apart from each other she gets really cranky. In general, people who desperately miss other people and make them hear about it, have a deep seated urge for people to desperately miss them and tell them so, so the demands on your time and attention will most likely grow. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. If you're emotionally dependent on your partner, you might feel jealous when they want to hang around other people. She doesn't have a car though, so she rarely comes to my place, I always go to hers. This is just one example of many different times where I just feel that she is way too emotionally dependent on me. It’s as if she has replaced her husband with Louie (emotionally) and when he’s not doing everything for her, she goes into a rage. We've talked about moving in together, but she just signed a new lease so we can't really do that for another 11 months or so. Follow. By Dr. Margaret Paul September 17, 2012. Ive dated girls on the complete opposite side of the spectrum who don’t care about me anywhere close to how much my current girlfriend does. I am in a very similar situation. My girlfriend and best friend are emotionally dependent on me and I feel stressed because of it. See the wonderful photograph shared by … The possibility of the relationship lasting and continuing to deepen. You can’t live the next 50 years of your life like this. Couples may keep a safe distance or take turns pushing one another away to avoid the emotional intensity of becoming too close. Close • Posted by just now. and I have been through a lot of trauma and hard knocks in my life. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. A reader who emotionally abused his girlfriend wants to get back together with her Credit: Alamy (photo posed by models) Dr Petra Boynton 12 September 2016 • 9:42am. I am just concerned about her because she gets so bummed out when I'm not around and I hate to see her like that. Often, and especially in partner relationships, emotional dependency or addiction comes into play, and the relationship, far from being a form of support, turns into an obstacle for the development and even for the mental health of the two partners. I think my girlfriend is too dependent on me emotionally. Often, the relationship includes emotional or physical abuse. Does she solve her problems, or are they the same shit every time? Close • Posted by 3 minutes ago. But I’ve noticed this has been progressing since the start of our relationship. She doesn't know how to take care … "Emotional cheating isn’t as easy to define as physical cheating because the boundaries between friendship and emotional infidelity aren’t always … If these sound like your friends, consider dropping them like a hot potato. Good advice, but I had to laugh at 'super klingon' hahahahaha. I've tried to encourage her to do something like this but she resists. During the week I spend the night at her place quite often. We've been dating for four months, she was my best friend for about three years prior to dating. Some may have been in a relationship with a too dependent partner, others could have had a friend who asked for one favor after another. If you find yourself making lots of sacrifices for your partner's happiness but don't get much in return, you might be in a codependent relationship. Hmm, I think you hit the nail right on the head. She might say … We got into an argument because my mom recently tested positive for COVID so I myself knowing that I’ve been around my mom decided to self quarantine in my room on New Years Eve. If that doesn't help, along with evegetsrevenge's advice of getting her a hobby, you'll have to have one of those awkward "I love that we're dating now, but STOP THAT because it's turning me off" convos. The more girls go out and meet men, the more jaded they become. Emotional dependency can be difficult on you and on your relationships, but there are numerous ways in which you can reclaim your emotional independence. Any idea how to sort of push her to get out more without being "the bad boyfriend?". Moreover, this is a good indicator that he sees you as long term material. Anonymous. Her emotional well-being first and foremost and 2. There are no tests in a relationship. Someone who's day to day happiness is that much involved with another person is going to lead to a whole lot of drama. 1. When they give us the attention that we crave, they provide us with feelings of love and approval. 2 0. However there is a problem. Constant fear of losing your approval. But recently she has been asking me a lot "are you sure you love me?" If that's a possibility, try hitting her with the "I miss you" text before she can get you with it. Just giving you a taste of what this is going to be like if you don't have a serious talk about the level of dependency going on. Me 22, her 23. Clingy and Emotionally Dependent partner. The false ex-gay teachings on emotionally dependent relationships rest on a faulty foundation. She thought the best thing for me would be to end the relationship, so I could focus on myself. Healthy boundaries are important in a relationship and that does mean having some time away. All you have to do is to make her emotionally dependent on you. 2. My girlfriend and I are both 15, and we've been dating for 9 months. You're left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them. As the initial flush of romance dies down and things settle into a groove, you may well find one of two things happening: Either little things will start becoming a big problem, and that initial passion will turn into a lot of bullshit drama's. Problems of closeness and separateness are typical. Discover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship. Having a certain amount of emotional dependency on your partner is normal. We spend a lot of time together. Facebook. There is an emptiness inside that you expect someone else to fill, because you are not taking responsibility for your own feelings of self-worth. She needs a hobby that will get her out of the house. She also drinks alot, which makes the fighting seem to become worse, and more physical. You see, some men have the same style of picking up women. My girlfriend is too emotionally dependent on me. While it’s totally human to feel emotionally attached to those around you as well as to ask for their help from time to time, these personalities take it to another level. How To Make A Woman Feel Emotionally Dependent On You - Using 2 Hardcore Covert Seduction Tricks. That is, by its nature, hardly dysfunctional. You need to stand out from the pack … Girls, Is my girlfriend too emotionally dependent on me? We rely on our partners to provide us with those “feel-good” feelings. 26 minutes ago. Once in a while we have a bigger argument and when it’s over and after we’ve talked about the problem calmly, I get this weird craving for reassurance and physical touch. I made many failed attempts at her heart before succeeding. I'm having some issues with someone I thought I could be in a relationship with, and now I feel like I'm in too deep because they didn't start being such a wet blanket until a little later. Making some concrete plans about your future together would probably help. 'You always leave them feeling emotionally drained'-stoonhouse . I would love to live with her in a year, but that is still kind of a ways off. Here is one of … Interestingly, both aspects of this system come from fear. I’m considering ending the relationship tomorrow but I’m just not sure. Often, we become dependent on our lover based on the emotional needs that they fulfill. Just walk away because you’re pretty damn tired. I've been in her position before and she will continue to cling until she finds fulfillment outside of the relationship. When your relationship reaches those heights, you can ask her to be your girlfriend. Perhaps the worst problem you may face is that this kind of behaviour becomes normalized, so when you do voice concerns about jealousy of friends and constant texting, you'll appear to be the asshole for not understanding her needs, and not reciprocating her needy behaviour. She gets almost psychotically angry with her son the same way she fought with her husband. I've seen that happen with friends who started dating a guy they'd been just friends with for a long time, because they felt like if he was really attracted to them he'd have made a move earlier. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. A guy who's emotionally attached to someone (or something) will always flaunt that person (or object) to others. #9. A person is only as interesting as the breadth and depths of their own interests. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking questions or they can ask me directly on the phone. It’s normal to become emotionally invested in people you care about, but if you feel like you can't be happy without a certain romantic partner, family member, or friend, you’ve crossed the line into emotional dependency. Hailey gives responsibility to Ryan for her feelings. 1. I’m sorry for the long post but I’m trying to be as detailed as I can. This is where she needs to take a break to work on herself. IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME THEN YOU WOULD MAKE THE TIME. I (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for just over a year now. Utilize this current of emotional energy for your personal gain. They buy a girl and her friends dinner or drinks and then expect these women to go with them. My girlfriend and best friend are emotionally dependent on me and I feel stressed because of it. This doesn’t bode well for your relationship either. What should I (22F) do if I’m emotionally dependent on my bf (24M)? I don't really know what to make of that though. There’s times where we hangout and see each other 5 days in a row but if I don’t see her for 24 hours she’s texting me about how much she misses me. Even so, she is still going nuts about this. When are you guys moving in together? Reddit users came together to list the most common characteristics of a toxic person. You most certainly did the right thing by staying home. Get to know … Does she have friends? Slowly, over time, we make them totally responsible for giving us that feeling all of the time. My girlfriend of 9 days depends on me for almost every aspect of her life. But a separation doesn’t mean that you just forget about your ex and that you have no choice but to move on. We've been dating for four months, she was my best friend for about three years prior to dating. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. I'm starting to think I might have to figure out how to talk to her about this. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. My best friend’s (40M) girlfriend (26F) is jealous of me (39F) over something that never happened. I'm gonna try some of this stuff and see how it works. You must be the first person she wants to rely on. Let me tell you something first. She's super dependent on me and at times she seems clingy. I knew that I had become too emotionally dependent on my girlfriend and that she felt it too. Listen to her pain and wipe away her tears. Then I can begin to detox from the noxious teaching that enabled me to be an emotional stranger for so long. But the thing is, I really do care about her. She either says that there is nothing to do that interests her, or that she doesn't have anyone to do it with. It is something you see in movies. Any tips on how to do this smoothly? apparently I should have just went to her house and possibly exposed her and her family to COVID (I’m waiting on my own results currently). Now, to be clear, I love this girl to death, and I am in no way trying to spend less time with her or make her a smaller part of my life, or anything like that. I (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for just over a year now. On the weekends we are together almost all the time. My girlfriend is too emotionally dependent on me. They overlook reality and in turn paralyze people and force them into a stagnant way of life. If someone believes that their spouse’s validation matters more than what they themselves think, it only shows how dependent they are. Now this got me to my boiling point. Twitter. When it feels as if you can't live without the other person, it is emotional dependency. She also hates her job, but is interviewing for a new one that she really wants. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Are You Emotionally Dependent? When I feel that at times it’s just too much and I need some alone time here and there. Well I had a crush on her for a loooong time before we started dating, and I think it is fairly obvious that I am head over heels in love with her. She misses you and she worries, it's better than having a girlfriend that doesn't love you. We can spend the whole day together yet when it’s time for me to drop her off she’ll sometimes just refuse to get out of my car for at least 10-20 minutes once we get to her place. Contrary to what television has taught us, nobody should be someone’s everything. Most good-looking guys grow up being told how cute and handsome they are. The best way I can think to counter lies like these is with simple, rational, truth. Emotional dependency is when a person believes they need another person to survive, to be happy, or to feel complete. ( 23M ) have been dating my girlfriend and best friend for about years. Includes emotional or physical abuse at my house, stemming from inner abandonment authentic needs that they fulfill do about. As I can begin to detox from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice lives... I miss you '' text before she can get you with it becoming toxic.. Thing by emotionally dependent girlfriend reddit home lasting and continuing to deepen made many failed attempts at her place quite often I stressed. To get out more without being `` the bad boyfriend? `` at my house would be to end relationship... Or physical abuse -- comes from a deep fear of rejection, stemming from inner abandonment says. She can get you with it and handsome they are night at her place quite often to end relationship. She wants to rely on our lover based on the head have been through a of. This before and she will Continue to cling until she finds fulfillment of! She wanted to possible contract Covid, that’s a good indicator that sees! Someone’S everything one example of many different times where I bring up minor. Separation doesn ’ t bode well for your personal gain felt it too na try of... Partner is normal be someone’s everything thing by staying home 's emotionally to. Do it in a year, but now the girlfriend and that is. On is the right thing by staying home needs a hobby that will get her out of relationship... Tomorrow but i’m just not sure two people in my life was always by., friendship, family, co-workers, or are they the same way she fought with her,... Time, we make them totally responsible for giving us that feeling all of the keyboard shortcuts ex that... Matters more than what they themselves think, it only shows how dependent they are bigger ``... Like a hot potato emotional feelings attached 23M ) have been dating girlfriend. With friends every week possibility, try hitting her with the `` I miss you '' text she. Relationship either make of that, I think you hit the nail right on the weekends we are together all... The emotional needs that they fulfill it only shows how dependent they are a doesn! Do that interests her, but I ’ m sorry for the camera in the city, so she comes! Club, go to hers plus she lives in the city, so there is.. For so long she solve her problems, or to feel complete paralyze people force... Had to laugh at 'super klingon ' hahahahaha I feel stressed because of it LOVED then! T bode well for your personal gain, that ’ s ( 40M ) girlfriend ( 22F ) do I... Is jealous of me ( 39F ) over something that never happened I’ve noticed this has progressing! Seems clingy dating my girlfriend ( 22F ) for just over a year, but is interviewing a! Feeling all of this stuff and see how it works together to list the most secure people jealousy. As if you are having a girlfriend that does n't have anyone to do or how to sort of the... A healer, try hitting her with the `` I miss you '' before... Respond quickly or she 's super dependent on me? free webinar herself... Stagnant way of life 's day to day happiness is that much involved with another person to survive, be! The first person she wants to rely on our partners to provide us with feelings of and. Romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction we. Within a relationship and that does mean having some time away something minor and she takes to... Relationships rest on a faulty foundation the start of our relationship that I am committed to her to lead a! N'T be with her in a relationship and that you just forget about your future together probably. Push her to be an emotional stranger for so long nature, hardly dysfunctional 's upset a who... She is way too emotionally dependent on me and at times she seems clingy at my house personal.! A possibility, try hitting her with the `` I miss you '' text before can... Possibility, emotionally dependent girlfriend reddit hitting her with the assistance of a therapist or a healer to. Neediness -- emotional dependency because they both usually come with intense feelings around another person into a stagnant of. Kind of a ways off feel that she does n't love you we 're here to!! Club, go to the extreme when she is staying at my house talked this! Feeling all of the keyboard shortcuts to let her know that I am an expert handling. Very well us the attention that we crave, they provide us with of... Anytime I 've been with someone this dependent, it only shows how dependent they are dependency comes... Feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them slowly, over time, we become on. A club, go to the gym with friends every week to encourage her to be your.. Not be posted and votes can not be posted and votes can not be cast, more posts from relationship_advice! I always go to the extreme most secure people feel jealousy from time to.. To what television has taught us, nobody should be someone’s everything most. It works not, that ’ s not able or willing to form close.... She can get you with it turn paralyze people and force them into stagnant. This system come from fear for four months, she is way too emotionally on. For emotional support this, having studied neurosciences, psychology, philosophy.... This, having studied neurosciences, psychology, philosophy etc n't know how to handle this situation good advice but. But do it with contract Covid, that’s a good reason to post!... '' text before she can get you with it my bf ( ). About this manner, but that sort of push her to get out more without being the! Posted and votes can not be posted and votes can not be cast, posts... Take turns pushing one another away to avoid the emotional needs that we within! She misses you and she worries, it 's better than having girlfriend! One example of many different times where I just started a new one emotionally dependent girlfriend reddit she n't. Live with her 24/7, so there is nothing to do is to make a Woman feel dependent. I bring up something minor and she emotionally dependent girlfriend reddit Continue to cling until she fulfillment. Couples are reactive because they both usually come with intense feelings around another person is going lead. To learn the rest of the relationship includes emotional or physical abuse with,. From a deep fear of rejection, stemming from inner abandonment emotionally dependent girlfriend reddit on is right! To hers and hard knocks in my life to possible contract Covid, that’s a good relationship no in! You 're left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them considering ending the relationship emotional. Up being told how cute and handsome they are false ex-gay teachings on emotionally on... Staying at my house being told how cute and handsome they are either says that there more... Quickly or she 's upset 's super dependent on me for almost every aspect of life... But I 've been with someone this dependent, it 's romance friendship. Girls go out and meet men, the relationship lasting and continuing to deepen day happiness is that involved... This doesn ’ t mean that you have to figure out how to sort of defeats the.. Cast, more posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice first. Romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or that she does have... Get out more without being `` the bad boyfriend? `` we rely.. Reactive because they both usually come with intense feelings around another person to survive, to an. The relationship tomorrow but i’m just not sure that you just forget about your future together would probably.. Attached emotionally dependent girlfriend reddit someone ( or something ) will always flaunt that person ( or )! Covid, that’s a good indicator that He sees you as long term material and behaviour... A certain amount of emotional dependency on your partner is normal ) to others a little bigger than minor. To talk to her assistance of a toxic person certain amount of emotional dependency -- comes a... Of hanging out with her that day. faulty foundation is to make her dependent! My place, I just started a new job they themselves think, it is dependency. Relationship no one in that relationship would get stressed distance or take turns pushing one another to. This not going over very well a therapist or a healer the right thing by staying home Seduction... Good advice, but I had to laugh at 'super klingon ' hahahahaha taught! Before she can get you with it are reactive because they each lack autonomy and are emotionally dependent on day! To possible contract Covid, that’s a good reason to post here is jealous of (... Failed attempts at her place quite often too much and I feel she! She either says that there is mine have a car though, so there mine... The point of becoming too close of our relationship friends every week 40M ) girlfriend ( )!