Time definitely flew by but I know that if the Kassem family was given the chance, they wouldn't change a thing. . Be proud of your new quarantine body; it's the reason you've survived. Thank you so much for sharing your story. and the accusations made (did you adopt to avoid loosing your figure?) Editors Note: At this year’s Empowered to Connect Conference, Amanda Purvis,Training Specialist, shared this letter she wrote to fellow adoptive and foster parents.We’ve published the letter here in hopes that it letter will encourage parents doing some of the very hardest work of caring for children from hard places. From being a second family to me, to being a second family to baby E and princess K.You guys never seem to fail. Do I bail my daughters out when they commit a crime? I know God has a plan for each of you. She’s almost caught up developmentally, and although there will always be things she cannot do, she may very well be one heck of a doctor or lawyer one day. But a good friend who has a husband in a wheel chair to take care of, 4 college age children that are at home and need her plus 8 year old twins she is foster to adopt (like us) and homeschool mom gently rebuked me when I told her that she had so much on her plate. We took a few months off and then welcomed our first forever angel into our home. As you may notice, it took a while for the program to accept them as prospective foster parents (due to the lengthy application requirements) giving the Kassem's plenty of chances and opportunities to change their mind about joining the program. We have had all support through our church and family. BUT, I am their mama. Adoption and foster care are such beautiful things and such a gift to children who otherwise wouldn’t have the love and stability every child deserves! Today, our foster children have changed our life forever." If it’s any consolation, negativity can be just as strong when you have biological children. My daughter asks about her mother, who died giving birth – she has no memory of her at all, yet something in her longs to have answers. Two of the children are on feeding tubes, at least one in a wheel chair and many with down syndrome. Oh how my heart breaks for this momma. Just like these people who this woman talks about in her open letter. http://heavennotharvard.com/2014/03/27/seriously-harvard/ http://heavennotharvard.com/2014/05/11/mothers-day/. I know your story, but I look forward eagerly to the day when you are the storyteller. Iris and Dan Kassem, proud parents of my best friend Allie Kassem, have impressed and exceeded all limits and expectations when it comes to fostering. I am truly blessed to have my little miracle baby. My girls will likely never call me ‘mom’ as their mom was in prison. Look 2020 straight in the face and know that you're better because of it. I know He sees you and walks with you every step of the ways, guiding you and sustaining you with His grace. Through my years in foster care, bad behaviour was always dealt in the manner that we had to pack our bags, i remember being 7-9 and the many times that i had all my belongings in black garbage bags, not sure if this was really going to be the straw that broke the camels back, and that i would be asked to leave. God Bless You. We have talked about adoption when our kids are a little older. So goes the expression, and one that I have often suggested as a mantra for foster parents in their dealings with their Department of Social Services (DSS) caseworker. Here is a heart-felt letter from a foster adoptive parent. Thank you. My eldest, if I’d given birth to her would have made me a teenage mother. You, the foster parent, are the now the ONLY ones who can save our lives. The people in power who make the decisions and do the paperwork, can care but they actually have the least power, because every single one of their tasks does not work harmoniously. 2. Required fields are marked *. Bermuda’s foster parents – and people who supported them – were celebrated in the Senate yesterday. But on husband’s side and at our former church…the situation is very different. Be encouraging and supportive. I was so excited to see who sent this gift only to see the pink balloons. I would pay the price and do the time. My heart aches for this mama but I am also glad she wrote. I am sorry I roll my eyes when you tell me to do something. So please, people out there be respectful of any family. And those first two little angels were not our forever angels. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. What a beautiful thing to do with your life to so invest it in others through a loving adoption. I know that no sacrifice for another one of Gods children ever goes unnoticed. Im sorry you were having such a horrible time when it should be a time of great joy. From the current COVID-19 pandemic the globe is fighting to those pesky murder hornets, and fighting systemic racism, 2020 was not the year anyone anticipated. The stares, the looks, the questions and then the pain and trauma at home. I will pray that the hearts of her sweet children will be softened and that the Lord will give her grace and love for them beyond her own abilities. I just needed to be reminded that it ok to feel sad about some things I missed, but that God will bless us with other things instead since He had a plan for all our lives to become a family even before we knew each other. Anonymous - November 12, 2017. We have a 4 y/o, 2 y/o and a 6 week old. Dear Parents, If you are reading this letter, then it is finding you at a difficult time in your life. We adopted from foster care, too. I remember when we were getting our kids enrolled in school, I sat down across from a nun at a catholic school and she asked for a list of my children’s full names and ages. My husband and I were told we would never have children. Pinterest. He cares so deeply for each of us, I have to trust that He is good, and the lessons learned have deepened my love and trust for my Lord. Such a heartfelt testimony. Adoptive parenting can be extra challenging. Thanks for the encouraging post. I also know of a few families. Teach Kids To Make Their Own Meals: Your Kids Can Cook! So sad. My side of the family…never questions and never ever look differently at our 2 adopted children. I also believe that God is still building on that plan each day, one day at a time! Thank you for this. They are grandkids, niece and nephew, cousin..period. I don’t know why people ask the questions they do. Clearly, in their minds, my husband was the saint who had taken in me and my two children that I had conceived by another man. Thank you for enduring and persevering through the obstacles you encounter as a foster parent. While the Kassem's did not plan on fostering two children simultaneously, they handled the news and the situation with a tremendous amount of ease and grace. You are loved and appreciated by so many. Because it is judged. We’ve had to grieve and mourn the loss of a “normal conception”. I don’t think of them as adopted children though, I feel that they are my children and sometimes forget about the whole adoption part of it until someone mentions it. At first, I was taken back that I would be accused of not knowing, but later gave her grace since, after all, we were Christians. Most adoptive families would love to answer questions, so don’t stare, just ask! I now have a 6 month old who was 6 days old when she came to us. In our interview, the admissions director turned to me, with glasses half cast, and said “you don’t know who the father is?” I replied no since my daughter was adopted (& had she reviewed the app first, she would have seen that). I received this heartfelt letter from an anonymous reader the other day, and I asked her if I could publish it to the site. My Mom and my Dad are my Mom and my Dad. Your family is truly amazing and I wish you all nothing but the best as you endure this painful goodbye and continue to do amazing things in this world. For the mother who wrote this, please know that there are those of us out there who not only respect you, but think that the love you offer to the children of others is far greater than the love we can offer our own. I gave up long ago explaining to every stranger that our oldest is adopted and that no, I am not old enough to have this many kids (we have 4 bio kids as well). I will be praying for her. This guest poster requested to remain anonymous. I have not given birth to any children, however my heart has birthed each child that I have raised. We have never focused or been concerned because of the fact that they were adopted. Hang in there and keep up the excellent work. And yes, I love all my children the same! Surprisingly, your coffee order can tell a person a lot about your personality and lifestyle! Keep your head held high and thank The Lord for your babies! I have heard many if the same comments. “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”. Have faith, our rewards are in Heaven, not from man. I also pray for your heart,may God bring renewed stength and love and peace. I may not have held them as infants, but God did. We knew they were for us the second we saw them on AdoptUSkids.com and God then, through many miracles, gave them to us through adoption! It’s great that you remind others of this. Women who abandoned him, abused him. Several movies and shows that will make you look forward to a new year. With the relationship I have with my siblings, I know the importance of the love between a brother and sister. “Why do they all have different last names?” She asked, oozing judgement. Thank you for sharing your heart. The nurse had the wrong room. Remember in your asking how you would feel if you were being judged or questioned. During these unknown times of what's next to come, many people used interesting ways to cope with the sadness and grief they have experienced in the year 2020. How do I teach them a better way? She calls me on Sundays to tell me about her week; she calls me Mom. Foster Care + Adoption; An Open Letter to My Adoptive Parents. I remember people asking why even bother since I was already 16, and that when by the time I get used to writing the my new last name I’d be getting married….. so I’d just have to change it again. God bless you! They have me, too. Your email address will not be published. I bear that stigma everywhere with frowns and sideways glances. With a pandemic, quarantine, and several other events during 2020, having the year finally come to an end feels like a much-needed relief for almost anyone! Be blessed. I am not judging those who choose the fertility/medical route, I am just trying to give credit where credit is due. Straight From The Heart is a thrift store that's part of the North San Diego County Foster Parents Association. Thank you for being one of the most significant, lifelong influences in … What she said was a gift. 4 years ago, after 4 years of trying to conceive, I was told it wouldn’t happen. I hurt for her and yearn to sit with her, because I’ve been her. Copyright © 2011 - 2021 The Humbled Homemaker ⢠All Rights Reserved ⢠Site Design by Emily White Designs, June’s Ministry of the Month: Cookies for Kids’ Cancer. You raised me with the most humble and open of hearts. 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